by Marie Lang

When British Vogue recently published an article asking, “Is having a boyfriend embarrassing?”, it set social media on fire. The piece explores a cultural shift: after years of “Boyfriend Land,” where a woman’s online identity revolved around her partner, many women are now doing the opposite so hiding or softly launching their relationships, cropping faces or blurring partners entirely.

Online, the reaction split fast. On one side, TikTok users celebrated the article, praising independence and romantic anonymity. For them, being single fits the clean-girl, self-focused aesthetic. “A boyfriend just doesn’t match my vibe” some proclaim, treating being unattached as a status symbol.

On the other side, users clapped back. Edits of smiling couples flooded feeds with captions like, “Sorry Vogue, but having a boyfriend is only embarrassing if he’s a loser.” Many argued people misunderstood the article entirely, stating it wasn’t anti-relationship but simply that having a boyfriend is only embarrassing if you’re centering him above yourself.

What’s fascinating isn’t whether having a boyfriend is cringe but why the internet cares so much either way. Ironically, both sides prove the point: those flexing independence and those loudly defending love still revolve around the same orbit – men. Treating a boyfriend as a status symbol or treating not having one as a statement still keeps men at the center of the narrative.

So maybe the real question isn’t, “Is having a man embarrassing?” but rather, “Why are we still defining ourselves in relation to men at all?”

In the end, do what you want: hard-launch him. Soft-launch him. Never launch him. Just remember: if a man is still the focal point of your conversation, you’re not the main character yet.